Long time no post, right? Let me explain. Half of my 2022 can be summarized by two things: overworking and recovering from covid. 2023 was a complete and total MESS. My health suffered and now I’m trying to rise from the ashes. Moving forward I would ideally like to be more “consistent” with this newsletter, but chile (!!!) We will see what life decides to serve me.
Do y’all remember the first time you did your favorite hobby or something you’re deeply entranced by? I sort of do. I’ve enjoyed writing since I was a child (thanks to Phyllis Wheatley, Nikki Giovanni, my mama, and my grandma), however, I didn’t begin writing and openly talking about music analysis until high school. It started with countless hours of music listening and a small class assignment. Let’s take a little trip down memory lane.
My early teen life encompassed watching movies, playing cello, and listening to 90s RnB + Hip-Hop. The latter two connected more than I expected during my sophomore year of high school. One fateful day, my orchestra instructor, Dr. Selby, gave his majority non-white southern orchestra students the prompt of finding any song to analyze. Selby was a true hard-ass, and I didn’t expect him to allow us to choose any song. With such freedom, I chose “The Sweetest Thing” by Lauryn Hill + The Refugee Camp All-Stars.
Lauryn Hill was my latest obsession at the time. Long before I saw her in concert on a chilly New Year’s Eve night, one of my first encounters with her music was through love jones (1997). My dad had a vast collection of DVDs that I would comb through and steal from regularly. I learned more about music from movie soundtracks than anywhere else. If you know anything about the love jones soundtrack you know that it can heal some heartbreak. Lauryn’s “The Sweetest Thing” sits alongside the equally sugary melodies of Maxwell, Dionne Farris, Groove Theory, Meshell Ndegeocello, and other equally soulful, jazzy artists. [It’s cool to think about the sonic paths all the artists from this soundtrack have taken over the years. Folk, ambient, jazz, rock, all with a basis in funk + RnB.]1
Once it came time to research and analyze, I didn’t know where to start, but listening felt like an appropriate point. I spent hours scouring YouTube, on stolen wifi, listening to “The Sweetest Thing,” The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, and watching her MTV Unplugged performance. Something about her spirit felt familiar. She was just as noticeably distressed as I was during that juncture in my life. I was a very eccentric, queer kid lost in my own world of self-isolation + social exclusion. Maybe that’s what it was. It wasn’t until later in life that I became aware of Lauryn’s battles; internal and interpersonal.
When it was time to listen, what would I listen for? Genuinely, there was no method to my madness. I did not have much musical language to explain what I was hearing besides the basic song structure terms. How would an etude I played 100 times on cello apply to “The Sweetest Thing?”2
If I had the language and method at the time, I would’ve done a lot of things differently. Listing the sounds and instruments I heard would have been a solid start. I would have learned who the producers and writers of the song were. I would have charted with time stamps the song structure and the production to show how they interact. The ability to hear what Lauryn sang about this love found and lost was one of discovery that I didn’t quite have words for, although I heard the ears. I recall closing my eyes a lot in my little sun-soaked room getting lost in the swells of Lauryn’s layered crooning during the vamp: “but baby it’s in vain ohhh.” Then there’s the rolling and smooth repetition of the somber, yet sweet guitar riff. It pushed the song forward, but my favorite will always be those damn basslines.
I would try to squeeze the sounds between my admiration and the minute details of the song; the quintessential record scratch signaling both Lauryn’s hip-hop leaning and the tune moving to another section. Ultimately, it takes time and practice to develop language to discuss music and learn how to use said language.
On my presentation day, I walked into orchestra class so damn excited and nervous to share my novice observations. I patiently waited while everyone shared their projects in that dark classroom. Selby called me up to the front of the class to share this song. I walked into the projection light and started my first musicology presentation listening to “The Sweetest Thing.” I’m almost certain I was the only student who chose a song from the 90s, but I could be wrong. I don’t remember feeling self-conscious about it. If anyone didn’t feel the song, I couldn’t tell because it elicited juicy conversation.
Selby told us to analyze the music and lyrical structure. The class and I debated about the meaning of the song lyrics and what constituted the main chorus of the song versus the outro/vamp. I found myself lost because of how the production changed at the end. Those nerdy conversations tickled a part of my brain I didn’t know needed some attention. As a youth, I was extremely shy, lonely, and often outrageously bored. Completing schoolwork was very easy, but it felt like a monotonous chore sometimes; learning was my favorite though. This assignment is the only one I remember from high school, and it has shaped my thoughts regarding music analysis to this day.
In the end, I graciously received applause, hurried back to my chair, and listened to my remaining classmates’ projects. During that year, Selby let me read a poem I wrote about music at our spring concert. It was a good time and I do look back on all this as a moment when I learned how to connect some dots between my listening to music and being able to express in my own words what was shifting throughout songs. Even more, I was finally learning to express myself, which sometimes remains a difficulty of mine. I was indeed writing things down before then, but vocalizing your cares, thoughts, curiosities, and questions was another layer. A life-defining one.
Alright y’all, share your thoughts! I do like hearing from people. Share if ya care. Even more, I would like to share some recent things I’ve read(ing) and things to pay attention to/donate to:
Sudan Solidarity Collective- a collective that helps grassroots civil society formations in Sudan and folks + areas that have been affected by the war in Sudan.
The Congolese Fight for Their Own Wealth- Dossier
Shifting the Silence by Etel Adnan (if you like poetry)
The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde (if you need to think about some grief and um mortality + connection to fighting against the shit that’s trying to kill you)
1997 was a HUGE year for Black films and their soundtracks. In Billboard, Janine Coveney wrote about how 1997 Black RnB artists’ soundtracks were top charting. I might write a little something fun about this.
For context, I never took a formal music theory course like some of my other musician friends until graduate school. That remedial music theory course in grad school had me paying for $30/hour tutoring sessions, attending weekly one-on-one meetings with my professor, and growing more gray hair.