(Written June 2021)
Hey y’all. It is my deepest hope that everyone who reads this is taking care of themselves in the best way possible. I know I am.
I come before you sitting on a furry microfiber rug in my barely furnished apartment, typing like a mad woman. Recently, I moved to Colorado from Florida. As much as I wish this post was a part two to my Nature and Music series…it ain’t. That’s okay, or that’s what I am telling myself. Honestly, I feel like I am failing. I know this is a lie, but feelings of inadequacy due to inconsistency bubble up as bad as the tears that well up in my eyes as I write this.
There’s generally been a lack of inspiration on my part, which means I ain’t been writing, at all. Being in a new state, around new people (let me be clear(!) there’s a lack of Black folks) has been… soulless…lacking uhhh INSPIRATION. I know what some may be thinking: “You don’t have to be around Black people often to be fully happy.” SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. As a queer Black woman from the South Carolina, my needs look a lot different than a lot of folks. AND with that, I am realizing more & more that I must attend to my needs as they arrive to me…
Me waving & passing through Kansas City, MO (photo above)
ANYWAY, I want to be able to validate these current feelings, while also acknowledging that I want to pour more energy and effort into this newsletter. Letting anymore time pass without doing so is a betrayal against myself. That may sound dramatic, but writing has saved my life…too many times.
My current mood fluctuations and feelings will not end any conversations on music. Truthfully, I want to hear from you all. To know what you all are interested and like to learn about, even if it isn’t related to music, would be awesome.
So yeah, please send me YouTube video links, reading(s) you've been engaging with, songs you like, anything that brings you joy or inspiration. I don't want this to be a one way street or a place where folks don't feel they can commune with me. The journey of experiencing more inspiration is not an easy one (after much disappointment & anger), but I hope some of you decide to share with me your joys.
What I've been reading lately: Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett & I've never read Sula by Toni Morrison so I'm starting that shortly.
As a quick aside, I'll surely be back soon. I'll be re-reading Carolyn Finney's Black Faces, White Spaces for that Part 2 of Black Music & Nature. There's also a piece on Black creativity & remixes that I'm returning to. Lastly, since I've moved out west my love for that good ole Midwest sound (Prince, The Time, Mint Condition, Janet, Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis, & many more) is more intense than ever before… you might see something on that in the future as well.
Alright, y'all. Take it easy. 🖤